Our four year-old is panting and jerking, left to right, left to right, left to right, over and over and over again in her car seat.
I ask her, “What is wrong? Do you need to pee?”
She answers, “Yes.” (Big breath… Left…Big breath…Right…)
Her daddy, who is driving, hears her and tells her, “Can you hold it?”
“Yes.” (Big breath… Left…Big breath…Right…)
Daddy tells her, “You need to hold still.”
She stops the rocking and let’s out a big breath, “Ahhhh.”
I fear she just peed her pants but she then says with her tiny little voice,
“Yes, be still… Steady…”
(Did she just say steady? I bust out laughing, I am tearing up.)
She sits still as if there were no pressing urges for the rest of the drive.
We make it in the driveway. Daddy parks the car. She unbuckles. Stands up, but is stuck behind daddy’s guitar and her little brother’s carseat.
She doesn’t wiggle or jerk or say a word and then,
“I need new underwear mom.”
“What? You peed your pants?”
I tell her to head to the bathroom.
Meeting her in there, I notice that her pants and underwear are obviously peed but not nearly as much as I had expected them to be.
I ask her, “Do you need to pee some more? Sit on the potty and try.”
She then sits on the potty and let’s out a LOT of pee. She looks at me with a big smile, and big shiny eyes and tells me, “It’s always good to save some for later!”
And in this I consider all the things welling up inside of me.
Thoughts and memories, so many words I desire to pour out on a page.
But perhaps, I shall just wait, sit still, be steady, pour out a few, and save some for later ;).