It was the wee hours of the morning. My husband had already left for work, and I was up writing on my bed. Our young daughter was asleep by my side.
Suddenly I started to hear a scratching sound coming from behind our bed. It started faint and I tried to ignore it, but then I heard it again, “Scratch, scratch, tap, tap.”
I thought, “It is probably just another bug scurrying across some paper.” I grabbed my husband’s shoe.
But then the scratching sound kept getting louder and louder.
My heart started beating faster, as I remembered my husband making mention of a rat he had seen run across our driveway a week earlier.
A thought popped in my mind, “What if it is not just a little bug? What if it is a rat?”
Moments later I had made up my mind, “It is a rat and if it is not a rat it is a huge bug that is going to jump out at me the moment I go to look for it.”
Then in a moment of great valor, I quickly evacuated my daughter out of the room. I shoved a towel under my bedroom door and then did the brave thing any grown woman would do.
I called my mother.
My mom encouraged me and assured me, “A rat won’t keep moving about under your bed with you there. It’s probably just a bug scratching around in some papers. You are 5′4″ and with a broom in your hands you’d be a very scary adversary for a bug.”
I had become a refugee on my sofa, kicked from my homeland due to a frightening noise. We talked and prayed. I felt better and a bit ridiculous.
It was almost 5:00 a.m. but I couldn’t sleep. I had a potential rodent on the loose in my room. Then God mustered up my courage in me. I did what my momma said. I grabbed a broom and pushed the door open slowly.
Next I grabbed my original other weapon of choice, my husband’s shoe.
I saw no sign of rat droppings and heard no scratching sound. I walked on top of my bed and with a big breath (and my big broom and big shoe) investigated behind the headboard… nothing.
Next, I got as far back from my bed as I could, and got down on my belly- a move I considered quite brave at the time- and lifted the bed skirt with the end of my broom… no rat.
I did find two crinkled papers and my daughter’s missing shoe that had been missing for some time.
Then I saw the origin of all my fears making its way up my bed skirt, only two feet away from where my daughter had been resting. I quickly knocked it down to the carpet and assaulted it with my husband’s shoe.
It laid there in shock- still moving. It was not a rat or a large bug. It was an embarrassingly small bug.
I stared at that bug and at my daughter’s shoe which I had found under the bed.
I considered how the Bible identifies me as God’s daughter, and yet, there I was, filled with fear over a tiny bug.
I thought to myself, “How can I walk in power and peace if I walk in doubt and fear?”
I thought of how I took hold of my husband’s shoe.
I questioned, “Am I truly taking a hold of God’s Word?”
I thought of how I lifted up that broom to face my fears and questioned,
“What am I lifting up when it comes to the big fears in my life? Am I lifting up words of praise and faith or words of fear? Do I have faith that God will sweep away my fears?”
In that moment, I knew that this tiny bug was God’s way of challenging me to consider those tiny doubts and fears that rob me of the peace that matters most.