We were thousands of dollars in debt in school and business loans. Our van needed repairs that exceeded its value and I was frustrated when my husband approached me to pray about whether or not we should acquire even more debt with a car loan.
That same week, our boys approached me with a request. They wanted a game for a new system that had been given to them as a gift. The game costed twenty dollars.
Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has set aside a reasonable budget for our entire family for “entertainment.” We had not spent it. I explained to the boys that their daddy had the money they needed. In response, they wanted to see it in their “reward” cups. (These are the cups where I had been putting pennies or nickels when they did something worth awarding).
I handed them their cups. They added it up… only 46 cents. They began to cry. My oldest cried, “But I take care of my sister. I clean up. I need an allowance.”
I assured him that his daddy and I knew all the things he had been doing. I assured him he was getting an allowance. It was just not one that he could see.
I told the boys that we wanted to give them, not just what they need, but also some of the things they want, because we love them. We enjoy giving them things which they have proven they truly want, things that bring them joy and edify their spirit.
I tried explaining to them that since their daddy loves them, he puts away money every month for them. It was in the bank.
They wanted to see the money.
They wanted to know where the bank was.
I explained to them I don’t even see the money. I swipe my debit card and the money is then transferred into the stores bank from my bank without ever seeing it.
I understood it.
They could not.
The tears and frustration continued as I tried to reassure them, “I have it for you… Daddy already put it away. You just cannot see it.”
They could not get it. All they could do was count and recount what they could see.
They then started to fight over the coins in their cups. Suddenly, our four-year old son went hysterical when his two-year old brother grabbed a nickel from his cup. “My nickel!!” “My nickel!” He began to whine and cry.
At that moment the Lord began to open my eyes to me. My thousands were his nickels.
Where was my faith? Why was I so set on counting and recounting only what I could see? Did I not trust that the Lord would provide? He had always been faithful to provide. He would be faithful still.
Perhaps you need to hear that today. Know that whatever your needs are, he will cover the cost. He already did. He covered the cost, even unto death. It is not what you can see that matters, but what He can see that matters most.
For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.
– Psalm 50:10